hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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