It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
