if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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