So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
