i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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