i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
