i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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