I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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