I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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