just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
