so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
