Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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