She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
