I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
