well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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