What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
