I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
