We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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