I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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