Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
