You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
