You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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