She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
