sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
