She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
