I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
