Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
