wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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