i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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