i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
