Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
