i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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