Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
