big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I will be naked everywhere
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
