just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
