Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
