I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
