In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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