Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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