Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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