Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
