Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
