Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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