I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
