I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
