She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
