Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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