no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I came so hard my ears popped.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
