he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
