I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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