i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
