Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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